It is traditional to give a large bottle of rum to the midwife afterwards, if she is me. Another bit of etiquette to remember is to make sure the older female relatives are out of earshot, because the last thing a young woman needs at a time like this is some old neighbour rattlin’ on mournfully about the terrible time she had with her eldest, who came out sideways playing a trombone, or something.
‘My favourite “every day” food…? Umm, who’s cooking it?’ A giggle comes as she ponders further. ‘I mean, I’m not allowed unsupervised even in my own kitchen, lest I burn it down. So, there are a lot of things I have pretty often just because they’re all that I can make – but that doesn’t mean I’m that fond of them. So, “every day”, but maybe not “favourite”.’
She sighs, pacing a little as she considers further. ‘I suppose… pasties would be something that’s an every-day kind of food and that I like, so I reckon I’ll go with that. I can get those a lot of different places, even, though there is this one street vendor in the Reach who makes really good ones – Britta. She’s kinda cute, too.’ She giggles with an impish crinkle of her nose.
‘Comfort food, now… hmm….’ She taps her cheek as she continues pacing. ‘Well… certain people who live with me would get a very salacious answer that technically doesn’t involve food, but….’ She cackles briefly. ‘But in the way that you meant… peach pies, lime tarts, or about anything raspberry. Of course, the limes and raspberries are high on my favourite fruits list, anyway, but the peach pie… well. Peaches are usually a bit too sweet for me, but there’s memories there… Darra trying to find things I’d eat, worried that I didn’t eat enough… she was such a sweetheart about it.’
She chortles, shaking her head a bit, still pacing. ‘A lot of people would tell you it’s cheesecake – but that’s more of a flirting food, to be shared. Or an excuse to have raspberries, chocolate, or both. If I have too much cheesecake, especially depending on just how it’s made… well, the results aren’t pretty.’
The small woman pauses to lean up against a table edge. ‘Now, a particular dish I absolutely hate…? I’m allergic to apples and can’t have milk-sugar, but that’s not a matter of hating…. Hmm. Well, honey-glazed sweetened lemon pastry.’ She makes a “yuck” face just trying to say it and shudders. ‘I don’t like things to taste too sweet… and I really dislike lemon. Something that’s both… ewww!’ She shudders again. ‘Yes, it’s silly, I know… I oranges, and so-called grapefruits (why in the Mists are they called that?) and omnomberries, and I love limes and raspberries and pineapples… but I just really don’t like the taste of lemons.’
I did not love you out of boredom or loneliness or caprice. I loved you because the desire for you was stronger than any happiness.
This is really the main thing you need to know about a house before you buy.
(Forgive me a moment of former-lawyer nerdity – there is in fact a famous NY court case, Stambovsky v. Ackley, in which the plaintiff bought a house and only later found out it was supposedly haunted. He then sued the former owner, wanting to undo the sale. You’d think the former owner could just go, “pffft, no, there’s no such things as ghosts,“ right? But no! They’d previously given newspaper interviews saying they believed in the ghost, which meant they were estopped from denying the ghost now, which meant — the judges declared, settling in for a long deliberation — the house was haunted as a matter of law. They let the plaintiff out of the sale. This is all 100% true.)
JO!
I’ve reblogged this picture before but not with the story of the legally-haunted house attached to it…
okay, so not only is this way legit, but the court’s majority opinion was FULL OF GHOST PUNS, thus elevating this to the Greatest Thing Ever To Happen.
first of all can we deal with the greatest sentence ever written by any judge since the beginning of time:
“as a matter of law, the house is haunted”
and that is not even touching the puns
“no divination is required to conclude that it is defendant’s promotional efforts…which fostered the home’s reputation”
“plaintiff hasn’t a ghost of a chance”
“i am moved by the spirit of equity”
“applying caveat emptor to a contract involving a house…conjures up visions”
“lest the subject of the transaction come back to haunt him and his client”
“the notion…is a hobgoblin which should be exorcised from the body of legal precedent and laid quietly to rest”
and then this motherfucker quotes hamlet
“pity me not but lend thy serious hearing to what i shall unfold (william shakespeare, hamlet, act i, scene v [ghost])”
and ghostbusters
“a very practical problem arises with respect to the discovery of a paranormal phenomenon: ‘who you gonna call?’”
god bless that judge
god bless
I’m a big fan of “The parties are advised to chill” myself.
as a matter of law, the house is haunted
I can face anything but reality.
(via wordsnquotes)
The Medieval Fairytale like Photography of Agnieszka Lorek
Agnieszka Lorek is a photographer, stylist, editor, painter, composer and musical performer, and a columnist.
It’s always nice being wanted. Even if it’s by the wrong person.
Adriellyn's Wandering Home 